Thanksgiving Day...Not A Time For Bad Memories

Thanksgiving Day this year fell on November 28th. There is so much meaning in that day for me. My daughter was born on November 27th 1991, just 3 hours and 15 minutes shy of my mother's birthday. This year my mom would have been 84 on Thanksgiving, she passed away just a month shy of her 72nd birthday in 2001. Another event that happens on the 28th is the anniversary of my daddy literally falling over dead in a parking lot of a hamburger joint POOF just like that he was gone. He passed away in 1984.


We went to the ranch for Thanksgiving this year, my cousins' husband is the manager of Canadian Valley Ranch that is just north of Seminole, and it is only about 2 miles from where I grew up on the farm. My daughter wanted to drive over and see the farm so she and I took a little time out to drive over there. My daughter has some wonderful memories of the farm. Once my daughter turned about 5 or 6 she started going and spending weekends with my mom out at the farm as much as her activities permitted *okie still thinks she must have been crazy for letting her daughter be in basketball, girl scouts, soccer, tae kwon do and softball*, which was about every other weekend or so. We didn't go down the driveway because that would have been rude to drive all the way down there to just look and back up and knowing Curly, the man who bought the place from my mom, he would have invited us in for dinner if he had seen us.

We did notice on the mailbox, which just so happens to be the same one we had when I was growing up as a kid, we could still see where my mom had painted her name and box number. My daughter and I both got out and took pictures of the mailbox. I still remember my parents having that mailbox made. It is steel posts welded to a tire rim and pretty much how most all the folks had their mailboxes. When I went off to college and moved into town it was odd for me to not to have to walk down a long driveway to get the mail but instead just open the front door and look into the mailbox.

I also took a picture looking down the long driveway to post on Facebook for my niece to see since she had mentioned she would give anything to have one more Thanksgiving on the farm. Back when I was growing up on the farm we had all the relatives at our house for dinner and it was nothing for us to have a crowd of 20-30 for dinner. Oh and if you are curious, that driveway is almost a quarter of a mile long. I can't remember the times I had to run that driveway to catch the bus, or how many times I stood at the end in the rain, cold or snow waiting for the bus because it was late. I don't ever remember complaining because that was just the way it was when you grew up in the country.



As we got back in the van my daughter said "I think I am going to cry". I told her "don't cry Shiane, just smile...grandma would want you to smile and remember all the good times". Shiane went on to describe the inside of the house and then talk about some of things she and mom would do on her visits.


Now let me tell ya, I hear so many people having a hard time with holidays because loved ones are not there or that "oh it's terrible because we lost so and so on that day". I can honestly say I had no feelings of sadness on Thanksgiving but instead I had feelings of happiness and love. Of course I miss my parents and I always will but I don't miss them any more or any less any day of the year. Oh sure the pain of losing them when they first passed away was overwhelming but as time moved on the hurt healed and I focus on the memories I have of my parents. Instead of feeling sad on Thanksgiving I enjoyed the company of my aunts, uncle, cousins and friends and smiled a few times thinking about how my mom and dad would love that we are all still close even with miles between us. But isn't that the way it should be?