I have had a lot going on in my life the last month and have been stressed to the maximum to the 10th power! But I am not going to let it get me down, okay it was but I am going to fight it! Let me say that all the events of last weekend did not add to my stress but actually provided a much needed break and amusement from the things going on in my real personal world.
First off my daughter evidently is having some issues with her Depo Provera shot and the side effects have changed her personality and moods. Of course this didn't come evident until last week when I started thinking about what changes she has had in her life lately and I started researching the side effects of that shot. At this time we have made several appointments to get her off the shot and get her moods stabilized and hopefully get her back to normal. I won't go into all of the details but let's just say I was mentally and emotionally exhausted from trying to figure out what the problem was while also trying to be loving and supportive and with some of the moods she was having it was beyond difficulty. Luckily God has always supplied me with a wonderful support group of friends who have been there for me during this difficult and emotionally charged time.
My daughter is now living back home until we can get all this straightened out and get her back on her feet. I enjoy having her around more and partly because I am less stressed with her being here and having problems than I am with her being gone somewhere and me not knowing what is going on with her. However, at this point my house looks like something off Hoarders due to her stuff having to be moved back into the house but we are getting there and I think we are going to have a big garage sale soon.
Secondly, I have not been able to get a full nights sleep in over a month now. My hands kept going to sleep and the pain would wake me up constantly during the night. I finally made a doctor appointment and on Tuesday he did X-rays and then I had an MRI done on Thursday. Of course the results won't be in for a few days. He is thinking it is something in my neck since my nerves are depressed in my legs and my left arm, also because I have arthritis in my neck. The doctor started me on a low dose of Neurontin to take once at bed time. I think it might help me since I did get some much needed good sleep last night.
But let me tell you why I have decided the stress won't get me down, at least not yet *okie smiles*. I was laying in the MRI machine Thursday and I had to use some of the relaxation techniques I teach my clients because I am a bit claustrophobic. I first worked on getting my muscles in my body relaxed and used my control breathing, after a few minutes I didn't feel my body and my mind was open to what ever I wanted to think about. I started thinking how lucky I was to be able to have this procedure done due to the wonderful care the Chickasaw Nation Medical Center gives me, even though I am not Chickasaw. I decided then I needed to write a letter to Governor Anoatubby and thank him for all the tribe has done for me over the years. I have that letter on my craft desk ready to put in the mail on Monday. After that I started talking to God, which I do quite often, but this time was a little different since there was no chance of me having a "SQUIRREL" moment. I let God know I trust in His wisdom and that I will be faithful in my trust in Him during this difficult time I have been having lately.
When I came out of the MRI machine I felt more relaxed and relieved than I have in over a month. I felt a sense of peace and rejuvenation that I have been needing. I knew God had listened and is going to help me through this. I have said many times and will say again, I am not a religious person as I feel religion is man made. But, I am a highly spiritual person and truly believe that one's relationship with God is the most binding, sacred, and faithful that one will ever have in their life. Never has He let me down. Maybe God doesn't answer my prayers with what I want, but He always answers with what I need. And I know He will this time as well!
Okie dokie, now off to get some laundry done, some stuff packed up and do my paperwork!
Many blessing to you Okie!! Keep your chin up and power forward in your usual plucky manner! Not only do you make it through, your sharing helps many many through your blog! God will bless you!
ReplyDeleteShellee
It's nice to know GOD is always there, sending you a BIG hug
ReplyDeleteI am on Neurontin also I am on 900 mg in the morning and 900 again at night for my fibromyalgia and RLS and Osteoarthritis. Plus 90 mgs of Cymbalta both together really help my pain of those things. If you still hurt don't be afraid to ask them to up your Neurontin and maybe some Cymbalta which also works for depression.
ReplyDeleteHope your doing better soon and also your daughter.
angel hugs
Debby
Hope things get worked out for you and your daughter.
ReplyDeletecraftymom205 at yahoo dot com
((((hugs)))) and know that your friends (me included) are always there to listen if you need it :)
ReplyDeleteOh Okie.....you are amazing. You and your daughter are both in my prayers. He will provide you with what you need, but you already know that. :)
ReplyDeleteSending {{{{hugs}}}} your way! :-)
ReplyDeleteOkie, thank you for sharing your rough times as well as your good times. Heavenly Father does surley answer our prayers with what He knows we need. Hang in there lady, you are awesome.
ReplyDeleteHugs, CyndiU
cureta2 at yahoo dot com
Beautifully said.
ReplyDeleteSometimes life can suck. You are amazing and you are putting it all in the right hands. Sending hugs, Linda
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear that you have been going through such stressful times recently. But I am equally as glad that you have friends near by and your faith in God to help overcome the difficult times.
ReplyDeleteIf I can help, just call ... in the meantime, I'm sending lots of hugz and prayers your way.
Keep smiling that beautiful smile!
Hugz,
Carol
((hugs)) to you & your daughter! I went through a similar time with Depo, but didn't have a mom around to figure it out. It wasn't until years later I realized what I thought was "teenage angst" was really a hormonal nightmare. Through the last 20 years I've also had severe emotional reactions to the patch, the nuvaring, norplan and many brands of birth control pills. Some of the pills would work fine for years, then all of a sudden wreak havoc on my psyche. This happened again 2 months ago & I chose to try the Mirena this time. I'm scared *itless to have something hormonal implanted in me again, but my new dr so far has listened & seems like she'll really work with me to get it out quickly if it becomes a problem.
ReplyDeleteI take the hormones to keep my PCOS symptoms under control -- not just to avoid having a 4th kid. Too bad my insurance company doesn't see it that way & won't cover ANY form of contraception. I'm happy you are getting the care you need through the Chickasaw. Your thank you letter is a GREAT idea!
I'm wishing you both luck in finding answers and proper treatments for feeling healthy again!!!
You are a strong woman who, I am sure, has raised a strong woman. You'll get through this challenge better than ever.
ReplyDeleteyou are on the right path...OUR
ReplyDeleteGOD is greater then the world...He keep you and NEVER let go through anything alone!!!!
yes.... He will this time too....
Depo is such nasty stuff, it also messes with your pap smear results. I screened them for a living and always hated to see a depo patient's slide because of the weird things it does on a cellular level. It can make them look abnormal or even mask abnormal cells... Hope it all gets worked out and you both start feeling better soon!
ReplyDeleteI had the same issues you are having with your hands at night for years and come to find out I had carpal tunnel syndrome in both hands! And I never have done anything repetitive to that would cause this! I do have diabetes and don't know if this is related but anyways maybe you should have the nerve testing done for carpal tunnel. Just a thought! I hope you get better!
ReplyDeleteStephanie
oh also, okie, i had to go to the ER because I was in such pain and he was the one who said it was most likely carpal tunnel and he recommended the gloves you can buy from wal-mart for carpal tunnel and that was the first night I was able to sleep through the night in a long time! I have had surgery on both hands and they no longer hurt! I hope they can figure out what is causing your pain!
ReplyDeleteGod Bless,
Stephanie